Monday, January 23, 2006

Look Who Came Out On Top But Remains On the Bottom!
Or: "I Am Standing Up For Canada - By Not Voting For You, Asshole!"

It is a dark day in Canada thanks to the man pictured above.

And is it just me or does every socialist - democratic or revolutionary - have a bald head and a moustache?

There's Still Hope in the Harper World...

It's okay Jackie - all your leftist supporters understand the teeth-grinding frustration that is the only result of another right-wing conservative regime such as the one your fellow Canadians have now been subject to. We can all now collectively look forward to an era of pro-life, militaristic, Harper-heiling robots who impose their tyrannical thoughts on everybody who actually owns a brain.

Remember, in such blue times it's even better to be red. All we need now is a united, solid left-wing, democratic socialist party which will (over time) consume the hateful and greedy Conservative ideological fortress and topple every right-wing castle that comes our way. Come to think of it - Harper's got nothing. This government is doomed to fall - let's all do some castle topplin'.

On a Musical Note...Hahaha (Pun Count: 1)

I've also come to the stern conclusion that everything sucks. All institutions are corrupt and unbearable - marriage, the family, school, rock and roll, the it ranting; I call it nowhere to turn. And so, I listen to Wolf Eyes...and enjoy.

For this kind of mood, living in a "Heil Harper" world, only Nautical Almanac will do. Just look at this guy on the left...something tells me they don't sound like Billy Joel. I think they're more along the lines of making Throbbing Gristle sound like schoolchildren. Before you go, do two things: check out Rick Mercer's blog, and the Nautical Almanac album Rooting For the Microbes.

Buy Rooting For the Microbes from

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Clever, Ironic Name - Haha, Sounds Like "Testicles"

I've decided that I hate this band. The Test Icicles, the newest British focal point for all that is trendy, indie-rock and dancepunk, and how average it is. I think this is the first time I've featured a record on this page that I completely despise, but there is a first for everything I suppose.

Basically this album makes me wonder why I threw out all those Chinese Stars records. Oh wait - they're shit.

From the purposely shrill vocal stylings of this band's singer to the conveniently treble-y guitar - most likely tweaked to studio perfection - and the whole "Bloc Party with an edge" chord changes, I honestly feel like this album's hype is only growing to grow and swell; not unlike an obnoxious, benign goiter.

Can You Spell "Bloc Party And Libertines Are Shite - Don't Copy Them"?

Here's a formula - take some young trendy kids, give them some guitars, teach them a dancebeat, give them a Bloc Party record, hand them a cleverly semi-controversial name, and slap their record in the hands of every twelve year old girl with a Pinback shirt and a pair of ripped jeans and you've officially made a profit. Because that's all this band is about - can the praise, people. Test Icicles fail.

Bang Bang Rock and Roll, last year's supposedly brilliant debut release from Art Brut, a few rock and roll loving punks from Britain who sing songs about flailing around maniacally while under the influence of The Rock. Their songs are simple, precise, sharp to the point, and infectiously boring. A friend actually managed to convince me to listen to this drivel, and I was convinced within the first ten bars that it was garbage.

This music is disposable. When did rock and roll get so boring? Why did I grow out of punk rock? Why, four years ago, would I have listened to this and thought it was exciting, innovative and necessary? Now, when I listen to it, I want to throw out all their Richard Hell records - which is something that should never happen to anybody.

Was I Wrong About Rocknroll? WAS I WRONG?

Maybe this kind of stuff always sucked. Maybe the New York Dolls are totally overrated. Yet, when I hear a Shellac record, which is also brutally honest, stripped down rocknroll, and a Guided By Voices record, which is essentially the same thing, I'm not succumbed to the same kind of mental wear. I mean, in all honesty, Guided By Voices and Shellac are two of my favourite bands. I don't think I've ever fallen asleep listening to At Action Park. And how about the Clash? I shed more than a few tears when Joe Strummer died - I was there, mate. I remember that day. I knew that the greatest band ever had died with him. I love the Stooges - Fun House is one of my favourite records of all time.

Which makes you wonder why exactly the Libertines and all their cronies fail so miserably. I love rock and roll, but I hate Test Icicles, I hate Art Brut, I hate the Libertines, I hate the Hives, I hate Death From Above 1979. These bands are booooooooooring. But why?

Wait - I know what it is. Steve Albini, Joe Strummer and Robert Pollard had BALLS.

Buy At Action Park from

Saturday, January 21, 2006

The Greatness of GBV...

One of the greatest American bands of all time, Guided By Voices, played their final show last year, but documented it on a fantastic live album box set. It is full of Robert Pollard's drunken, indecipherable stage ramblings; and the band's sloppiness increases as they play through their three hour long set. A recording of sheer greatness, however - it is subject to much awe from myself and many of my friends. There is a reason why many cities have named a Guided By Voices day - they are the embodiment of the greatness of a national holiday. Unbelievably excellent.

Downloadable tracks:

Listen to just how great this is:
Guided By Voices - Navigating Flood Regions (live) **EXPIRED**

Buy Guided By Voices stuff from

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Today in history...

A bassist named Paul Simonon first auditioned for the London SS. The London SS, after changing their name, would become the greatest rock and roll band ever. Mark it on the calendars.

It's also Captain Beefheart's birthday.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Well, it's been awhile - since last year, really, since I posted on here. I think I'm going to start trying to host mp3s, so you'll be able to download some songs or albums from now on. Go crazy.

Best Cover Song Ever

So I might start giving you guys some songs I've been listening to lately, starting with this one. The Arcade Fire do an absolutely incredible live version of the Magnetic Fields song "Born On A Train" - which I think totally trumps the original. The Magnetic Fields' version doesn't create the same kind of intense longing, nostalgiac loneliness, and alienation that the Arcade Fire's music has become synonymous with. And this is live - it just makes you realize what a fantastic band this really is.

At first, when Funeral first came out, I remember thinking that it was an average record. Not a bad record, just very average - I thought there were moments that seemed too hastily decided, and I thought that it was one of those albums that the band would see all their faults in hindsight. Now, however, after all my pretentious indie friends stopped liking them, I realize that the Arcade Fire is actually a great band. Funeral didn't even make my top ten list for 2004; it is the one example of a record that I absolutely love now that I didn't love upon release. It's fabulous.

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The Dead Angles

This is a band I'm not yet sure of - I'm not sure if Les Angles Morts is either visionary and amazing or just pure annoying. Apparently, it features some ex-members of the Arcade Fire. Yes - Les Angles Morts are yet another one of those "Montreal" bands that mixes "post-something" with "post-something else", inflicting their amalgamation with "noise influences" get the idea. Les Angles Morts are totally the stereotypical example of this.

They sometimes remind of kind of a dancier Lightning Bolt - in a weird kind of way. Even their song titles - "Portals", "Huge Antlers" - are absurdist and sarcastically post-modern, like our favourite Providence, Rhode Island noise band. I have a feeling I'm going to like this a lot more in a couple of weeks than I do now. Right now I'm still deciding on it - I'm not quite sure. And I don't quite know why I'm not quite sure.

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"Slow-beat"? WTF?

Here's kind of an interesting band. I don't know a whole lot about Hot Chip, aside from the fact that they're apparently inventing a new kind of electronica called "slow-beat". Please. Are these genre names going to get less and less creative every time an original band is pulled out of some ass somewhere? I don't buy "slow-beat". This is quite a good record though, and this song, "Playboy", is some heavy shit.

I love the tongue in cheek lyrics about pimpin' in a benz with some 20 inch rims, but you have to know that it's being sung by some geeky music nerd somewhere. This is a pretty sweet record too; optimum opportunities for some producers to sample this shit. Some of these songs would make some killer beats. Especially if the beats are "slow". How lame.

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Downloads this week:

The Arcade Fire - Born On A Train (Magnetic Fields cover) **EXPIRED**

Les Angles Morts - Huge Antlers **EXPIRED**

Hot Chip - Playboy **EXPIRED**